dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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