yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
