just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize