they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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