alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
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I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
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I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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