no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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