You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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