My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
