every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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