"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
