apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
