the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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