Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
