What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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