I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize