my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
