its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize