It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
