why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
