Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
