I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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