he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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