I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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