I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I still have a little drunk in my system
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
