i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm at about main and main street
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
