Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation have a gay friend backfired
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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