this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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