your thong is hanging out like whoa
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
