when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
