I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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