get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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