i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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