I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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