I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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