If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
