I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
