marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
