I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize