i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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