she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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