belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
