Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize