he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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