Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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