We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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