all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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