Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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