Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
