sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize