Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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