im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
