Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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