i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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