dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
