i don't like sucking hair
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
