blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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