I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
