dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
