I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
