so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
