The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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